I find it interesting the way that hesitation and fear can cripple into our self perception, causing us to overthink and doubt all our decision making. I recently just made a big change in my life, adjusting to a new name, a new identity and a defined sound. I set out this project as an experiment and its crazy what happens when you let something into the universe. All the expectations and judgments of what people think get into my mind subconsiously and make me question every decision made in the process. I have so many songs I'm working on right now and so much of me wants to get it out there, but at the same time I want to make sure its the "right song" or its done correctly. I guess these are things I just have to get used to and its kinda crazy having this mentally occupy my mind in such a way. I just don't want to let anyone down or build up expectations and fail to meet my capability. I know I am capable, sometimes I just don't know what is the right direction or song I should work on.
I love making all different kinds of music, from lofi rnb to uptempo synth pop to acoustic ballads, I just wonder if that level of variation is ok. I want to just stick to my original plan of making a bunch of theme EPs but its just so different than what everyone else is doing. I'm different and thats ok.
I want to be free from expectations
I want this to be an experiment